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Born to be Wild : 3:54 p.m. : February 24, 2004

Why didn’t anyone tell me being a teenager would be so difficult? I know, sob sob, life’s tough get a helmet. But seriously, why don’t we get little guidebooks when we are born that tell us everything we will ever possibly need to know about being a functional human? It would be like the Hitchhikers’ Guide to the Galaxy, except better. Wow. No one steal that idea, I am totally going to use it.

Anyway. I guess I had either forgotten or never experienced that one thing, one problem, can totally throw off everything. I know I am being frustratingly vague, but oh well. And all today, I just wanted to GO HOME, but I can’t because I have a guitar lesson (yay!) and then home for an HOUR and then a science class. Egad.

So one thing that is bothering me right now is that I have this friend (ish) who is going out with a guy I used to like and sort of still do, and actually thought he liked me before she came along and f***ed everything up. She had no idea, of course, but when I told her she got all condescending and “Awwww, sweetie, let’s form a Get-You-A-Boyfriend Club. I couldn’t believe her.

And then I’m all tied up in knots about this other guy at my school. Who I don’t want to talk about.

Ooooooh, I might spend this weekend with my guardian angel/friend Ellie. That would totally rejuvenate me for another week of hell.

It’s so weird how liking someone can turn a perfectly normal life into havoc. I think we should all have little labels on our foreheads that tell someone when we like them, and that humans – well, me to be specific in this particular instance – weren’t so afraid of rejection. And it’s not even that. I don’t know what it is. Merde.

I have also found out that people I barely even know think I am odd. Usually, I would be proud to be odd, but right now I would love to be either a dark-gorgeous-sex-goddess-type-thing, or a super popular, never has to worry about the whole guy thing wonderchild. Maybe I am too odd. It’s so much fun though, being strange.

It’s hard living the emo way of life. I need food.

I've got Born to be WIld, by Steppenwolf, stuck in my head. Hmm.

London - Thailand

hits.


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