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Fast Food Nation : 5:54 p.m. : October 17, 2003

RH meeting at J's house tomorrow.

Hope I can go to Tamar's party.

I cried at school today. I don't deserve girlfriends like mine. They were talking about weight and stuff, because Carrie said that her boyfriend said that if she were to gain 50 pounds, he would probably dump her. *muttermutterBASTARDmuttermutter* Anyway, so we were talking about standards, like if you're 5'6 or 5'7 you're supposed to be 110 to 150 pounds, and Oren was like 150 bpounds? That's obese!!! and I just started crying, because I am definitely NOT OBESE, I am not even fat. But I have a hard time thinking good things about how I look, and after just coming out of a clothing stagnation period when I was so upset and depressed about the whole job thing and not wanting to wear anything except sweatpants and comfy stuff, and finally wearing a skirt and a cute top to school, that was just too much. SO I started crying. ANd Oren went..away, I don't know where, and all of my girlfriends sort of piles on top of me and had a huge huggy thing. And I felt so loved, and shitrty, all at the same time.

Uh oh, that reminds me, I have to go swimming tomorrow and to the gym on Sunday. Gah. I suck at going to the gym and working out. I am such a lazy bum. But if i just sit on my butt and do nothing, then I will gain so much stupid weight then i WILL end up being obese and fat and gross like a third of the American population.

I have to go and set the table. Bye.

London - Thailand

hits.