halladolwen's diaryCurrent - Archives - Profile - E-mail - Book - Notes - Links - Design - Host Jobless, Hopeless, Funless : 12:04 p.m. : October 05, 2003 |
| I have to go to onething today that I do want to go to and one thing that I don;t want to go to. As is typical of me, the two are not what you'd expect them to be. So I am going to Jenny's house in about a half hour to have a meeting about RHPS. I want to dress up as people from RHPS for halloween, but I REALLY don't want to actually be in it. Ya know why? Because it will cause a whole fiasco with my dad if he finds out or if I ask him and it willl just be crap poo merde all over again. And even if I say I don't want to be in it, they will just do it anyway, and I will feel really left out because I can;t direct or anything because Jenny is a control freak and she won't let anyone share her power once she gets it. She found a way to control our group by wanting to direct RHS, and it appealed to all of us. And she gets to control us because she thought of it. And to her, I am all too replaceable. And I don't want to just sit on the sideline while everyone else has a blast and design stupid sets or something. That's really not my thing. Costumes, maybe, but Kelsey is in charge of that. I hate this. So I really don't want to go today, because it will just depress me and piss me off more. This has got to be the worst weekend ever. And the second thing I have to do today which I am actually looking forward to is Yom Kippur services at my synagogue. I get to be with my family and help with kids and I just want to be in a place where I can just NOT BE JUDGED. I want to go back to camp. So as of today, I am jobless, hopeless, and funless. Whee. This stuff here is mine, unless otherwise stated. That's why it has my name on it. Thank you. |