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I'm Not Alone....Or Am I? : 8:39 p.m. : 2003-08-21

Gah.

I had a very very weird/bad/strange day.

First of all, I got to see Pirates again last night (that's not really today but oh well). I also got to eat yummy burritos. YAY for that!

I had a weird day at school - no 7th period again, so I just left and went to the gym. I found out that (thankfully) I gained no weight at camp - I stayed exactly the same. I was SO relieved.

I saw the guy I had a crush on last year - it's a bit strange, because I liked him for the longest time. Argh.

And I finally figured out what one of the really special things about camp is: they listen. All of my friends there take the time to listen to what I have to say or how I'm feeling, even if it's stupid or it doesn;t make sense. And if it IS stupid or it doesn;t make sense, then they just laugh. Except I know that they are laughing WITH me, and not at me like the people at school do. And with the camp people, they realize that there is more to me than saying stupid things, and they look past it. And that's one of the things that made me feel like I really mattered - people actually cared about what happened to me, or what didn;t happen to me.

I got really upset one night when we were having our nightly discussion circle, and everyone comforted me. I basically bawled all over my friend's lap for about a half hour, and she was stroking my hair and holding me the whole time. If I started crying at school, people would just be like, "Erm...you;re crying. Ok then," and say meaningless things. But people at camp know how to comfort me, to make me feel good about myself when I'm down, and to be with me when I'm riding high. And I miss that. I love them all so much - like having 10 sisters - that it hurts. I can feel this sort of ache in my chest, a sort of hollow feeling whenever I think about them, and the magical three weeks we had. (Cliche, I know, but the reason that things become cliche is because they are so good that they get used way too much.)

I love you G-9!

London - Thailand

hits.